


Leading Men

by flaming_muse



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-22
Updated: 2011-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/282213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flaming_muse/pseuds/flaming_muse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel talks to one leading man in her life about another one.</p><p>set just before the second performance of West Side Story, spoilers for 3x05 (“The First Time”)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leading Men

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Leading Men -- Hauptdarsteller](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922592) by [Klaineship](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klaineship/pseuds/Klaineship)



Finn leaves Rachel backstage to get ready for the night’s performance with a soft kiss and a hug that nearly lifts her off the ground, and she smiles to herself as she drifts on feather-light feet to the girls’ dressing room. He really is the best boyfriend, at least this time around. They’ve finally gotten it right: no fighting, no jealousy, no drama. They just love each other, and after last night it feels that much bigger and more real.

Last night... last night had been amazing, all the more because despite Finn having received such crushing news about his future in football (or lack of it) she’d been able to make him happy anyway. He’d smiled at her with joy in his eyes and nothing else weighing on his mind, and it makes her heart flutter even now to know that that was all because of her. She doesn’t have a lot of experience making other people feel good, and it’s surprisingly nice. She’ll have to think about doing it again.

Rachel slips into her first costume for the musical and inspects herself in the mirror with her usual eye for detail. No matter what other people might have to say, she knows what she likes. She is satisfied with how she looks tonight, even if she wouldn’t have chosen this particular dress; she looks forward to having more creative control when she is a star, but for now she has to pay her dues and listen to her director. Every bit of frustration will just become fodder for her acting later on.

Actually, as she pivots in front of her reflection she thinks she looks better in Artie’s choice than she did last night. She thinks she looks more mature, more aware of her body, more of a woman and less of a girl... although as she glances at Santana behind her in comparison Rachel is forced to concede that it’s probably all just in her head. She hasn’t suddenly grown a cup size and developed a sultry sparkle in her eyes. Next to everyone else, she still looks like the innocent she was.

But she doesn’t feel the same. She feels older. She feels more alive. She feels more in love. And a small part of her feels like she wants to run into her dads’ arms and hide there like the child she used to be.

It’s hard not having someone to talk to about what’s happened. Her dads would want to be there for her, she knows, but she wants a real friend’s voice. She wants someone who understands the way she feels _now_ , not with the distance of being a parent or the desire to cut her down of some of the other girls. Normally she would have gone to Kurt or Mercedes, maybe even called one of her emergency sleepovers to talk about it, but Mercedes is off being a diva in her new group, and Kurt... Kurt she’d hurt so badly he is barely even looking at her when they’re in the same room.

It isn’t her fault. She has to think of her own dreams. Stardom isn’t something you can take for granted, and she’s going to do everything she can to achieve it. But still. She misses him, and it isn’t fair that he is so concerned about _himself_ that she can’t even count on him as a friend when she needs him the most.

Rachel leaves the mirror to the other girls and puts on her shoes before she goes to do her hair and makeup. The tables are largely empty except for Blaine, who is putting on too much blush again, she notes. She smiles at him in the mirror as she sits down beside him; he really is an excellent leading man (despite the blush), because his answering smile is just as warm and without any hint of jealousy. He’s not ambitious like Kurt can be or adorably clueless about theatrical performance like Finn. Blaine can hold the spotlight as well as she can, but he seems happy to let her have her moments. And he should, because she deserves them, but she can admit that he deserves his, too. It’s a perfect partnership.

“I’m looking forward to tonight,” she tells him as she picks up her foundation and smooths it over her face with a little foam sponge.

“I am, too,” Blaine replies. “I think I’ve got that spin down. I’m feeling good about it.”

Rachel blends the makeup down below her jawline and checks her reflection to see if she has enough coverage; the stage lights are harsh, and she doesn’t want to look streaky or washed-out. She decides it’s fine and picks up the pencil to line her eyes. “The first night is always a little bumpy,” she says. “It’s part of the theater experience.” She weighs saying more for a second before the words come tumbling out, anyway, because she has to talk to someone, and Blaine has been here for her all week. “Although I feel it’s only fair to tell you that I have a whole new insight into Maria, so don’t be surprised if you have to work harder to keep up with me tonight.”

“You - ?” Blaine looks at her in the mirror with some confusion before comprehension dawns.

She nods and can’t stop the blush rising on her face, because even though she wants to talk about it it’s still a big thing.

“That’s great, Rachel. Wait - “ Blaine’s smile fades, and he turns to her, all concern. “Is it great? That seems like a weird thing to say. How do _you_ feel? Are you happy?”

Rachel tries to keep her own smile in, but she can’t. “It was wonderful,” she said, reaching out to clutch his forearm. “Really. It was everything I could have wanted. He was so sweet, Blaine, and it was right. And I love him.” Her feelings are always huge and threatening to spill everywhere, but this is even more than normal. “I really do.”

Blaine reaches out to hug her, and if he’s nowhere near Finn’s size the way he wraps his arms around her still makes her feel safe and secure. “I’m happy for you,” he says into her hair, and he huffs out a little laugh when she squeezes him tighter with gratitude and excitement.

“Well,” she says when she pulls away and turns to the mirror to set her hair back to rights, “if nothing else it means that my performance tonight should be even better than last night’s. I’m expecting at least three curtain calls, thanks to my new-found understanding of Maria’s experience. As my Tony, you are welcome to take at least two of the bows with me.”

She sees Blaine flush a little under his makeup, and his eyes drift to the mirror but not to his own reflection. She turns her head to follow his gaze and sees the object of his attention: Kurt, who is across the room helping Tina with Mike’s hair. Kurt’s eyes flash over to Blaine like he knows he’s being looked at (which he probably does; he has a performer’s instinct for knowing when attention is on him, just as she does), and his smile is quick but warm before he focuses back on the task in front of him.

Rachel feels like the floor has dropped out from under her, but it’s a good feeling, like an amusement park ride instead of an earthquake. “Wait... did you and Kurt - ?” she asks Blaine.

He colors a little more and nods.

“Blaine!” she squeals and throws her arms around him. He laughs but hugs her back. “This is going to be the _best_ performance!” She should make sure they’re videotaping it for her NYADA application.

She feels his chest shaking, and she’s fairly certain it’s from amusement, but she pulls back just to be sure. This is a significant step for him, too, and as her leading man as well as a confidante she wants him to be okay.

Rachel watches him closely as she sits up straight, takes a breath, and says as seriously as she can, “My dads have stressed to me over the years that the line for members of the LGBT* - “ The asterisk is silent, but she knows it’s there. “ - community is even more blurry than for those of us who are straight when it comes to what sex actually is, and obviously that’s between you and Kurt unless you _want_ to share something with me as someone with if not intimate experience with gay sex at least an understanding that love takes many forms and - “

“Rachel, thank you, but I don’t need to share that kind of detail with you,” Blaine says quickly if politely.

Rachel nods and is only a little disappointed. “Still, Blaine, I know it’s a big deal, whatever you did. Are you okay? Are you happy?”

Blaine’s whole face softens, like he’s really touched, and she beams at him because she asked the right question. “I am,” he says. “Okay and happy. I really am.” He looks over at Kurt again for a quick second. “I get a little overwhelmed when I think about how I feel, but it’s good.”

She nods again. “I completely understand. It’s like everything’s _more_.”

Smiling, Blaine says, “Exactly.” His eyes drift to Kurt in the mirror again, and she follows his gaze a little sadly because she doesn’t have the right anymore to look at him with the fondness she still feels.

“And Kurt?” she asks more quietly. “Is he okay, too? You’d know if he weren’t, wouldn’t you?”

“I hope so,” Blaine says, glancing between them like he can’t quite stop looking at his boyfriend. “But I think he’s happy. I hope he is. He says he is.”

Rachel watches Kurt in the mirror. It hurts that she can’t ask him, herself, but she knows if she went over there he’d shut her out as surely as he would if it were Santana asking. “I don’t think he’d lie to you about that,” she says and makes herself turn back to finish up her makeup. Kurt cut _her_ out; it’s _his_ loss.

Blaine’s gaze lingers a touch longer, and she can’t categorize the kind of sad smile curving his mouth as he picks up the blush brush again. “I’m kind of counting on the fact that he doesn’t lie about anything.”

“No, he really doesn’t.” She adds with a little giggle that she just can’t help, “Imagine if this was him holding back.”

Blaine presses his lips together, but if he doesn’t let himself laugh with her his eyes still sparkle. “We’d all be in trouble.”

“Some of us already are,” she says before she realizes, and she focuses on putting on her lipstick so she doesn’t have to meet her eyes or anyone else’s.

“I’m not going to get in the middle between you two, Rachel,” Blaine says after an awkward pause.

“I know. You shouldn’t; Finn isn’t either.”

Blaine mutters something that sounds like, “Finally something we have in common,” but movement in the mirror forestalls any further conversation.

Rachel focuses on her makeup as Kurt walks over, touching his hand to Blaine’s shoulder for a moment before he slides into the chair on his other side. It’s just a tiny touch, but Rachel would have noticed it even without Blaine’s news, because Kurt so rarely touches anyone.

“How many times have I told you less is more, Blaine?” Kurt says, and it sounds like he’s smiling. “You’re abusing the blush again, unless you’re going for some sort of retro kewpie doll chic.”

“I thought your motto was more is more,” Blaine teases back.

“Like my sense of self could be summed up in a single pithy phrase.”

“I don’t know. I bet we could come up with something if we put our minds to it. And then we should trademark it so you can use it as the subtitle of your first autobiography when you’re famous.”

Rachel thinks this is a brilliant idea and makes a mental note to work on her own motto later on.

“You’re ridiculous,” Kurt says, laughter in his voice.

“Hey, we were looking for a motto for _you_ , not me.” Blaine sounds a little muffled, and Rachel glances out of the corner of her eye to see Kurt using a tissue to wipe some of the offending makeup off of Blaine’s cheeks.

Kurt hums a line of music Rachel doesn’t quite catch and says, “There. Now, can you be trusted to reapply your foundation and a _reasonable_ amount of blush while I get into my own costume, or do I need to sit here and supervise?”

“We’re getting close to curtain up, so you’d better change. I’m sure Rachel can keep me on track.”

Kurt snorts, and Rachel lifts her chin and runs her brush through her hair with a bit more force than is absolutely necessary.

“I’ll be fine,” Blaine tells him.

Rachel sees Blaine take Kurt’s hand for a second, and Kurt smiles, a soft, secret smile she is almost embarrassed to catch, except that she knows she’s made the same exact one when looking at Finn. It means Kurt’s happy, happy with _Blaine_ , and she feels a tightness in her throat disappear like magic at the knowledge. It’s a good thing, too, because she doesn’t want anything to interfere with her performance tonight.

“Okay,” Kurt tells him, and he doesn’t even glance over at her as he leaves.

Blaine looks a little troubled as he retouches his makeup, and Rachel sets her brush down in her lap and turns to him.

“He’s happy,” she says.

“What?” Blaine asks, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

“Kurt. He’s happy.” She gives him a small smile, the best she can manage without acting, and she wants to be real here, just for a second, because what’s happened between her and Finn and between Blaine and Kurt is so very real. “I know you probably know him better, but I’ve known him a long time, too. He’s happy. Just in case you were worried.”

Blaine laughs like he’s embarrassed before he admits, “I’m always worried about that.”

“Well, stop it.” She pokes his arm with her brush. “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“I’ll try. I hope Finn’s making you happy, too, Rachel.”

Rachel’s smile bursts out of her just thinking of Finn. He’s wonderful and so supportive. Everything in her life is falling into place: her boyfriend, the musical, the election, NYADA; it’s all getting so close to what she wants. “He is. And I think he brought me more flowers tonight. Isn’t that sweet? I wonder if he’ll do it every night. I may have to buy more vases. I should ask my dads if we have more tucked away somewhere.”

“We have to perform first,” Blaine reminds her. He’s laughing a little at her, but for once it doesn’t hurt. It kind of feels like they’re sharing a joke.

“Obviously.”

“Time for show circle!” Artie announces, wheeling past, and Blaine gets up and offers her his hand.

Rachel lets him help her up from her seat, but she clings to his hand for a minute, too excited to lose the connection between them. “I’m so glad I’m sharing all of this with you,” she murmurs into his ear and kisses his cheek before she lets go.

Blaine looks startled and searches her face before he smiles. She knows he understands she means more than just the stage. “I am, too, Rachel.”

She twirls around in her costume, her skirt flaring out around her, as he follows after her toward the rest of the cast. “Now, come on. We have an audience to impress.” She grins up at him. “And our boyfriends.”

“I hope they already are impressed.”

“Just wait. We can do even better,” she says, and even as he shakes his head Blaine is grinning back.


End file.
